Applying for Unemployment

We somehow made it through January and February.  I left a job in December that didn't pay anything and offered me no hours. (Who works for minimum wage with a title of Office Manager and works less than 10 hours a week?) Husband that I love was working in the school district and I was actively looking for employment. I stress the word "actively" because I sucked up my pride and went to the JobService building and other employment agencies looking for just about anything. I applied at retail kiosks, medical offices, and anything that I could find in the paper. The problem was that there was nothing listed. There was still a hiring freeze as well as a slow beginning for the first quarter of 2009. I also became involved in an online Work From Home scam and lost $200. (I'll write about that later.)

An opportunity finally presented itself and out of desperation, I took it. Notice that I used the word DESPERATION. The job was one that I was well qualified for but required extreme flexibility and working over 40 hours a week. Not exactly what I was looking for BUT it paid well, offered benefits and appeared to be something I could do at least until husband that I love got through school. There was no way that I could turn down 33K a year. We were going to have to make it work...

Although the job was a permanent position, I live in an "at-will state". This means that employees or employers can hire, fire or layoff without any given reason or time frame. The job was hectic. I worked well with all parties and made the best of it. I juggled my family the best that I could around this job often leaving before my kids woke up and arriving home sometime between 6 and 9 pm. The only solace I found was in the fact that husband that I love's job was sporadic so Kid 3 did not have to be in childcare and a family lived near by that could take Kid 3 at the last minute if needed. Kid 1 and 2 understood the sacrifices that were being mad and even though it was rough, they were real troopers and helped wherever needed.

And then I received a phone call from an assistant that "things were not working out". No warning, no anything. When I attempted to plead my case, I realized that this was a done decision. Thirty minutes of trying to fight for my job were never going to get me anywhere. I was devestated. I liked my job, did it well, according to those that I worked with, and on top of that, had never been fired before. I sat on the floor of the bathroom and sobbed. The stabilty that we so desperately needed and had for 3 weeks was yanked away from us.

I can't even begin to describe the physical pain that actually comes from feeling like I failed. It is a real physical pain. I sunk into a depression that probably should have been treated. I attempted to put on a happy face and told people when they asked that "I was laid off". The reason I gave was "that I just wasn't needed". I wasn't really lying. The pain of feeling like I failed was too great to share with anyone except for husband that I love and my parents.

A couple of hours later, I picked myself up off the floor and called unemployment. I talked to a very helpful person that took the details of my case seriously and reassured me that "it appeared" I had done nothing wrong. My reason for termination was labled "poor job fit". I couldn't agree more. The emotional thoughts that I had failed or was at fault were slowly starting to subside. (Little did I know that this process would actually take months to recover from.)

We waited for over two weeks to find out that my unemployment case was accepted. At least we had a little bit of money coming in to help pay a bill and our rent and supplement the one check a month that husband that I love was receiving from substitute teaching.

So once again I was back to daily job hunting. At least I saw my children and could tuck them in at night.

It is also safe to say that sometimes faith is a hard thing to have when all of the right efforts are being made to better our life and the results feel like we are still sinking in quicksand. The result from this whole traumatic event is that God is always there and that losing my job was a hidden blessing that we were still able to benefit from in a small financial way.